Sorry to anyone who`s come here for a cheerful bright read, but today I`m not feeling in the mood to do that, infact that`s why I haven`t posted much lately. I`ve just got such a problem on my mind that`s making me feel torn in two that I`m going to have to write about it here.
This time next week, I should be off on a week`s holiday on my own to some friends - a break that I can badly do with. But the great problem is my parent. It`s not just the holiday situation that is the issue, but it has enlarged it.
My parent is becoming increasingly less mobile and less able to do things, even everyday things for living, like lifting a kettle, getting plates etc off even the low shelf in the cupboard etc..etc. She is very unsteady on her feet and losing her confidence in even walking a few steps, indoors as well as out.
I am feeling it too much of a responsibility on my own, and hard as this may sound I`d like to get her into a home to be looked after. But...having tried to mention it to her..... well, you can imagine the reaction, can`t you?! It`s "you don`t want me" *you want to get rid of me" ^you wish I was dead".
I`m just feeling so torn - torn between wanting a life of my own, before I`m old and decrepit to enjoy it and to make some friends and the responsibility of her. It`s getting me down and I feel so alone.