I`m not really an art person but yesterday I went to the city and decided to visit an exhibition of religious modern art at the Cathedral there. I was surprised by how long I spent there looking at them and really appreciating them One in particular which at first glance appeared to be nothing but a daub of white paint on a black canvas, the more I looked at it the more I saw. First that the background wasn`t black, it was a very, very dark blue then that the white shape took on the rough shape of a dove with outstretched wings and the edge of the brush stroke at the edges actually gave the appearance of the fine feather edges. The title of it was Pentecost. It was very moving.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Looking again at the paint card, what lovely images some of the names conjure up……
there`s – Blue lagoon, Aqua pool, Wild honeysuckle, Paradise blue, Summer sky,
and a few down to earth ones like – putting green, English forest,
But what makes anyone think of something like Juicy Jade, Sassy, Desire, Atmosphere,
Wellbeing, Winter`s Day, and put a colour to them. What colours would you think they are?
Who has the job of naming all the shades?
Wonder what colours anyone would invent and name, who reads this?
Thursday, April 28, 2005
What is white?
I always thought white was white.
So how can the paint card/chart (yes, that was where I found all those white`s yesterday), have so many versions of white? Surely they must actually be very, very, very pale tints of the colour they call them – so Violet White must infact be a pale, pale, pale violet and not white? If you put them beside a white piece of paper they don`t look white, so why do they get called white?
Thinking along those lines, do we all see colours the same?
There`s no way of knowing is there?
Or is someone going to baffle me with science?!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
But, success, I`ve got it!
Monday, April 25, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
I suppose it’s a throwback to childhood, when to keep one amused on a Sunday afternoon (because one wasn`t allowed to play games or do anything active!) I`d either be told to read a book or given some paper and pencils to keep me occupied and amused. There were so many things you could do with them to pass the time that way – word games, like Hangman, chains of names or items, or noughts and crosses, dots & box game, or just doodling. I was no good at sketching or drawing though, (still aren`t).
So even today if I have time on my hands (which isn`t often), or if I sit waiting for an appointment or anything, I`ll usually have a pen and paper to keep me occupied. Maybe that`s why I like making up quizzes and competitions because I sit and do them with pen and paper.
Probably the computer is the next step from that too, and why I enjoy doing things on here so much. Even if it is writing about nothing in particular, like this!
Saturday, April 23, 2005
But, to put it in its context, it was in my bible reading notes, and of course the `every single person` referred to wasn’t just single people, but everyone. (at least I assume that`s what they meant). But I wondered why they used that phrase in that way, when it could be read that only single people need that and not couple or families - or perhaps they don`t need it and only us singles do?
Strange language this English, isn`t it?
Friday, April 22, 2005
What is `a family`?
Reading something a friend had written today sent my thoughts along a line of thinking I often get. We so often now-a-days see and hear the phrases - family outing, ideal for families, family worship, family friendly, family service and others...
Do they mean that those events are just for a family i.e. a mother, father and childen?
They sound fine for them, but they make me as a single person feel very excluded. An odd one out. Lonely. That life has passed me by. (And if one goes the same feelings apply when seeing others in pairs or families).
Instead of being inclusive language, it seems very exclusive.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
How do blackbirds (or any bird for that matter), see us?
It`s something that I wondered this evening as I watched one on the lawn, digging his beak into the ground for worms or insects. He came quite close to me and seemed quite unafraid.
Do we look giants to them?
Or do their eyes magnify so that we look in proportion?
Do they actually `see` in the way we see, or do they just define shapes?
I`m sure that if I was the size of the blackbird and something the size of me (and no, I`m not a heavyweight! or extra tall or wide!) came close I`d be very frightened.
So why aren`t they?
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
I was writing yesterday about how I enjoy driving.
Something that has surprised me since I learnt to drive, which is about 12 years ago now (wish I`d done it sooner), is how it`s greatly improved my sense of direction.
Although I`d lived here all my life I didn`t have any idea how to tell anyone the way to nearby villages or towns, because I didn`t know the roads or the way. I can remember when I was learning to drive in the city, I just followed the Instructors directions, turn right, turn left, straight ahead…etc., and I can remember how I used to think to myself however does he know how to get round here, I`m sure I`ll never manage to find my way as well as drive! But, I now merrily drive round all the country lanes and anywhere. I think its one of the best things I ever did, learning to drive.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Why am I writing all this, I suppose to try and help myself to think out what it is that makes me get so worked up about holidays. And then, maybe, hopefully realise how stupid it is – but yet, can one change how one feels and reacts?
Monday, April 18, 2005
My cathedral has a ceiling of blue,
my cathedral `neath the sky
where I may lift up my eyes unto the hills
and hear music from a stream rippling by.
My cathedral has an alter of flowers,
their fragrant incense fills the air.
In my cathedral
I am closer to him than I could be anywhere.
For here I pray in a place so grand
the carpet I kneel on was made by his own hand.
My cathedral has candles lighted by the stars
and mighty pillars of trees.
No other cathedral is so beautiful
for God made my cathedral for me.
(lyrics found on www.sing365.com)
Sunday, April 17, 2005
There`s a well known verse that starts along the lines of.... You`re nearer to God`s heart in the garden ..... (the actual wording escapes me, but the meaning`s there, maybe someone will put me right on it).
I think that it could easily be said to be true of the countryside too, when one takes time to look around, and give thanks for it, and feel a sense of closeness there too to the Creator.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Is stress the `with it`, modern word for nerves?
Whichever it is, I get it badly over certain things, and one of them is starting to affect me now when I think about it, before I even get to the time of it - it`s going on holiday. I`m soon going on holiday for a few days and although I look forward to it and want to go, I get very nervous (or stressed?) about going anywhere and the nerves (stress?) gives me a real physical problem in the form of stomach upsets. It`s embarrassing to admit to, and I try to keep it to myself, but maybe writing this in my blog is someway to confess to it. But how to cope and deal with the stress or nerves is the problem and question.
Friday, April 15, 2005
I suppose as much as the seemingly tuneless thump of modern music, it’s the way the singer (if you can call them singers!) screams and shouts their way though a few words over and over that grates on me. Whereas this is unobtrusive, apart from getting my fingers tapping in tune to it at times!
It would be an interesting exercise for shops to try this type of music and see if it made the customers linger longer and buy more, instead of rushing to get out of the din!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Even in the shops and supermarkets pop music is blaring out. Do the staff think everyone wants to think they`re in a disco all day long. Alright, one would expect it in a record shop, but not in a food shop. The sound of the loud thump, thump, thump all the time rather than have a calming effect as music can do, instead sets me right on edge, makes me feel up tight and irritable – which makes me wonder – if it gets me feeling like that, are all the problems with teenagers and youngsters that become hooligans, caused by the music they listen to? Does it stir them up to such a state that they become so aggressive?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I think my dislike of the phrase was because I was using the interpretation of the word act in the sense of something not real. And to me that was wrong as worship is something real.
It`s something that is important to my life and not just something to be acted at on a superficial level which was the way the phrase had always seemed to me. I realise that worship is an activity involving heart, mind and soul… but body?.... (unless one is clapping, …) how? Or am I again thinking of a word in the wrong way of its meaning?
Notice the use of `was`, I think on this phrase I`ve now been converted!, but not on `lost`.
Strange isn`t it, how one can get a phrase and only look at it one way, and not see other possible meanings.
Think I shall have to study English better!
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Monday, April 11, 2005
I always wonder why people say, act of? To me, (and again, I`m probably odd in this!?) an act, means its not something real, so in that sense is the worship real, or is it just an act? Why not just say worship? Or even a time of worship? A play is an act, it`s not real. Worship is something real.
Yet, I know that the word `act` can mean doing something, an action, like an act of kindness. But then doing worship doesn`t sound right either. Worship seems somehow to be something more of a feeling than a physical doing thing – hard to explain in words what I mean. Am I confusing anyone reading this? I`m beginning to confuse myself now that I`m trying to write it into words!
Sunday, April 10, 2005
I was in a meeting the other day and was approached by someone who forcefully wanted to get a point across, and did it in an aggressive manner, which immediately put my back up. I suppose it wasn`t just so much what he was saying, but the way he was doing it. But I found myself drawing those net curtains tight around me so that it hid the insecurity I felt, the doubt he was giving me in my ability to do the job right, my vulnerability, my lack of confidence. And so I found myself reacting in an equally wrong manner, as I tried to hide what I was feeling. But yet, that was giving out a wrong impression too of who I really am, how I really am. I worried for ages afterwards about my reaction knowing I`d done the wrong thing, reacted in the wrong way.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
I like the open space I can see beside me, but yet I also feel what I suppose it must be like for a fish to be in a fish bowl(!), able to see and be seen.
So should I put it up again for the privacy it gives?
Yet, it`s nice to look out at the garden, and nice to feel the sense of a bigger room, more space.
I am a person who feels claustrophobic and can`t bear to be shut in. I hate lifts. I hate going through tunnels. I can`t sit in a middle of a row of seats, I have to sit on an end. And preferably still, near a door if there is one.
Perhaps I will leave the curtain down for now, and let the light in, and look out at nature.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Instead of getting on with what I should be doing, I now keep looking out at all the starlings pecking about on the lawn. Well, that`s if you can call it a lawn, it`s more moss, dandelions and weeds than grass in places, still it`s green! They are such entertaining birds to watch. Some squabbling over some chips we put out, chasing one another if they think one has something bigger or better then they have. Some not interested in the chips they`re contentedly probing the ground for insects or whatever it is they find down there. Then as if by some signal they all fly up, only to settle a minute of two later and resume what they were doing. Amongst them on the groung there`s a hen blackbird, she`s filling her beak with small pieces of food before flying off, must have some young ones to feed somewhere. So much nature on ones doorstep. I should make time to sit and watch it more often. Maybe need to take net curtains down more often!
Thursday, April 07, 2005
....and how we are different things to different people.
… a daughter,
I, sadly, can only claim to be three of those.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Have you ever watched a skip?
First you get the people casually walking by casting it a sideways glance. And trying to look as if they`re not looking to see what you`ve thrown out.
Then you get them walk by again and give a longer look as they pass.
Next you get the person who stops and stands and looks at it.
And you get those who stop, have a good look in it, and around to see if anyone`s looking at them.
You go to bed at night, and in the morning – what`s that item in the corner? It didn`t come from this house!
Later in the day you look again, where did the watering can you`d put in it go to? or the old crocks?
The next morning – where did those set of wheels come from? They weren`t there last night.
It`s amazing the way things come and go in it, but no-one sees it happen!
Now its gone, what will they do?!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
so as its spring here are some daffodils.
I was quite concerned about my daffodils last night, as there was a very heavy shower of hail. I expected to see them all flattened to the ground this morning, especially the ones in pots as they`ve gone up very, very tall. But for all their delicate look they must be strong, because they`ve survived, or maybe its because they are flexible and able to give and then spring back?
Monday, April 04, 2005
(and before anyone wonders, yes, I am English, born and bred but with probably a strong dose of Norfolk too!)
So I think we`ll have to agree to differ on “lost” ?
There`s another expression I dislike too, but more of that another day!
Sunday, April 03, 2005
I know we can feel `lost`without a person, but that`s not exactly what I`m meaning.
“I`ve lost my cat” (no I`ve never had one and don`t want one!)…. but to hear that phrase would mean to me that it had run off, or gone out and got lost, that people would be out looking for it; that it could be possible to find it.
To me anything that`s said to be lost, means there is a possibility of finding it again.
And so I guess that`s another reason why I find using the phrase “I lost……” about a person who`s died, so wrong, we cannot find them again. We know where their grave is (or ashes scattered), so their physical body isn`t lost. We trust that their spirit lives on through faith.
So, how can they be lost?
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Feeding ducks on a pond in a nearby village is something we enjoy and quite often go out to do.
The white one in the picture, we nicknamed Tufty!
What are we having for dinner tomorrow? –
you`ve guessed it -duck!
Yes, we also enjoy eating duck occasionally. But not, I hasten to add, any from the pond. This is strictly from the butchers.
Strange isn`t it, how one can like animals and enjoy seeing them and yet still eat them. And, before anyone suggests it No, I`m not going vegetarian!
Friday, April 01, 2005
I just cringe when I hear “we `lost` Joe or Jim or whoever it is, last year (or whenever)” when people are talking about someone who has died.
To me (and I may be wrong because I`m not good at English or grammar, I just write as I speak!), “lost” is something that`s my fault. I`ve lost an item, or something that belongs to me, because I had it and did something with it, perhaps put it somewhere and lost it – if you follow what I mean.
A person is an individual not belonging literally to anyone. We may be very attached to them, but they don`t belong to us, so how can we lose them?
We can lose the physical presence of them, the friendship, the companionship. We can feel totally at a loss without them. But, we don`t lose the memories, and thoughts of them. So in that sense too, we haven`t lost them, have we?
Wonder if others find the same, or what expressions others cringe at?