Sunday, April 10, 2005

Net Curtains

Writing about net curtains has made me stop and think. Do we all have invisible net curtains around us, stopping people seeing in to the real us; being a defence or a shield? I know I do.

I was in a meeting the other day and was approached by someone who forcefully wanted to get a point across, and did it in an aggressive manner, which immediately put my back up. I suppose it wasn`t just so much what he was saying, but the way he was doing it. But I found myself drawing those net curtains tight around me so that it hid the insecurity I felt, the doubt he was giving me in my ability to do the job right, my vulnerability, my lack of confidence. And so I found myself reacting in an equally wrong manner, as I tried to hide what I was feeling. But yet, that was giving out a wrong impression too of who I really am, how I really am. I worried for ages afterwards about my reaction knowing I`d done the wrong thing, reacted in the wrong way.

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