I didn`t have long to wait this morning before the phone call that I`d been waiting for came. And with it came the news that I hadn`t been selected for the job this time.
Was I disappointed? In lots of ways yes, because I know that it was work that I could have done and would have enjoyed doing; it would have been a help in my home life too. But yet when I came out of the interview yesterday I knew that I`d let myself down, I`d as usual shrunk into my quiet self, I`d become (as so often) tongue-tied and `struck dumb`, and didn`t showing my true abilities. I suppose too that my upbringing, being that one doesn`t talk about oneself, or what I can do still affects me, and I find it very difficult to talk about myself.
Yet, I`m proud of myself that I did have the courage to apply for the job and to go for the interview. My confidence in myself is growing to how its been my whole life. Even a few years ago I wouldn`t have plucked up the courage to even show an interest in the job even though it would be work I could do. And as for going somewhere I`d not been before I would have found all excuses under the sun not to go. So, although I wasn`t successful in being appointed, I feel its another small success for me in confidence building.