Friday, November 12, 2010

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

That expression came into my mind today with how I`m feeling at the moment and have been feeling these last two weeks.   But I think more appropriate to me would be if it said "the flesh is willing but the spirit is weak" !

Since All Saint`s Day (which also would have been my Dad`s birthday),  I don`t know what`s happened to me.  It`s just over 18 years since my Dad died, yet everything seems to have come back so strongly to me these last two weeks, lots of memories, feelings and the sadness of those weeks.   I don`t understand why after all those years I should suddenly feel it so deeply again.

Added to that, I seem to have so many different things to do this week especially, I`ve had two church meetings to attend and related work following them, I`ve had to prepare items for a Christmas sale for tomorrow.  As well as my Work work and all the things I normally do in a week, including visits to my mother - all of which take time.

I`ve started jobs, very half-heartedly, put them down, tried to do something else then thought of something else I should have done, so left that and done something else.  I`ve just got no enthusiasm or drive to do things, not even tne normal things that I would do.  The house looks a tip I`ve got different bits of paper and things in all rooms, from when I`ve started something and put it down.    I feel quite down and stressed about things. - and that`s not like me.  I`m not sleeping well either so that doesn`t help.

So, although my arms and legs work ok, it`s the spirit to do the things that is lacking.  I feel snowed under with everything.

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