Looking back

It`s the last day of the year, so I`ve been doing a bit of looking back, with a mixture of feelings and emotions.
I`m still single and 99.9% happy to be so, but yet sometimes I wish I`d got a partner, someone to care about me.
I`m still living in the same house as I`ve lived all my life, which in which we had the kitchen and bathroom completely refurbished this year, it was a major upheaval, but well worth it.
I`m still working at the same place, but have cut down my hours so only now do 33 hours a week. It`s lovely and has made a big difference to me.
I`ve come to accept a bit better my mothers` relationship with her man friend than I did at the start of the year, yet at times I still feel a lot of resentment, both for her putting him in my Dad`s place and for the way she always considers him in doing and arranging things, before she considers me and my feelings on them. Yet, in another way it`s a good thing as at least it gives me a few hours to myself each week.
My Church work is still a lifeline to me, having no family of my own this means a lot to me and gives me a purpose and sense of belonging. But I feel that my faith needs to grow more.
My main worry during the year ( and which will continue, I know) is the way my parent is getting older, slower and less able to do things, and I worry that I won`t be able to cope in time to come with that on my own. And having no brothers or sisters to help, it does frighten me at times.

But overall, it`s not been a bad year, just a very ordinary one.

Wonder what 2006 will bring

Snow

What beauty there is in the way such tiny specks of white frozen water can form together and delicately cover everything.

On this day in 1969

36 years ago today by the date, I did something for the first time.

Yes, it`s the day I started working where I still work. Isn`t that boring?! During that time I`ve seen 7 managers come and go and am now on the 8<sup>th</sup>. one and that`s not counting all the short term relief ones we`ve had. The firm has changed hands at least 4 or 5 times, if not more I`ve got lost on that count. But then, does one ever really know who one works for now-a-days? There`ve been happy times, more so in past years than recently, (and that`s not looking at it through rose coloured spectacles), it’s a fact that several of us agree on. “Things aren`t what they used to be”. It used to be a good `family` atmosphere and everyone helped one another, now its all money, money, money orientated.

I never thought when I walked in there thirty six years ago that I`d still be there all these years later. But yet, where have those years gone to, it doesn`t seem that long in one way, although looking back it feels a life-time and I don`t feel I`ve accomplished very much with my life.
Roll on retirement!

Why is it....

I`ve not got much time to write anything tonight, so just an observation, or a question, call it what you like!

Why is it that when you`ve plenty of time, everything goes right and jobs get completed before time. Yet, when you`ve not got time everything goes wrong, and hinders you and it’s a struggle to get it done in time.

Shepherds

Back to work today. Is Christmas Day really only 2 days ago? In some ways it seems much longer, how quickly we get back into everyday routine.
It set me wondering – about the Shepherds after they`d been to visit the baby Jesus, what did they do, in the following days, weeks, months and years. Did they tell everyone they met – but being out in the fields would they really meet that many people to tell? Did they quickly get back into the routine of looking after their sheep? Did the events of that night seem like a dream to them? As time went on did they wonder if it had really happened or whether they imagined it? Did it change their lives?

Boxing Day

I think my brain must be having a Christmas holiday too. I can`t think of much to write about today. I`ve taken my Mum out for a ride this morning, as it`s a nice sunny but cold day. Would have liked a walk, but she`s not able to walk anwhere now. So, I think it`s now a case of go and sit round the fire and read a book I had as one of my presents yesterday. Had some nice presents this year - no hankies, calendars or smellies!

I`ve just realised, it`s exactly a year since I wrote my first blog. I`ve just looked back at it. If you weren`t reading my blog then, you might like to look back at that too.

It`s Christmas!

A HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO
EVERYONE READING THIS TODAY

You may like this link for Christmas

The Night before Christmas

It`s the night before Christmas, the cards are all posted, parcels all delivered, the decorations are up, the goose is cooked. In fact everything now all seems rather “flat”, after all the weeks of preparation there`s nothing else to do. It makes me wonder, is it at times the planning and preparation for special events and times, the thinking of ways to surprise people, or anticipation of something, that gives more “lift” to us than the actual event?
Maybe I`ll feel different tomorrow when it is actually Christmas Day.

(00.40 a.m.) I`m now going to add a post-script to my earlier post (above). Having just attended a inspiring midnight communion service, the feeling of flatness has completely gone, and the real meaning of Christmas has returned. The service gave me a tremedous feeling of peace.

Greed or service?

Forgive me, but I`m going to have a moan today!
In this day and age is there really anyone who desperately can`t manage without shops being open for just two consecutive days? With the advantages of today`s living with all the freezers, fridges and long life foods around, the mountainous trolleys of goodies that everyone buys for Christmas “just incase” and then continues eating for weeks afterwards, Why do shops need to open on Boxing Day?
Is it really just to provide a service, surely the real reason is the greed of the bosses. Those bosses of course not working themselves on Boxing Day, they no doubt have the 2 or 3 or even more days off to celebrate the holiday. It seems to me that things are going backward instead of progress. It seems to be going back to the days of Scrooge, where no consideration is given to the workers.

Snow for Christmas?

Looking at Christmas cards set me wondering…. Did they really have white snowy Christmases years ago? It just seems that a lot of Christmas cards always have old fashioned scenes of people out enjoying skating, sledging, shopping, in the snow. Robins sit on post-boxes, or gate posts or branches of trees all covered in snow. No, not the robins covered in snow! I mean the things they`re sitting on.
Do they really portray how life was or is it all just a dream world?

Angels

We sing quite a lot about angels, especially at this time of year and I`ve been trying to find a picture of an angel for something I`m doing, but somehow despite looking through lots of clip-art images of angels I can`t find anything that seems suitable. Some seem too much like cartoons, others in un-angel like situations, nothing seems right. But then, what do I really expect one to look like – I`ve never seen one!
I know there`s several references to angels in the Bible, but was that the imagery of the time it was written, did it have another meaning, or were/are there real angels? The whole concept of angels is something I find very difficult to picture or imagine. I know we sometimes use expressions like “she`s a little angel” of a little girl that`s exceptionally good, or “you`re an angel” of a friend who`s done us a good turn. But are angels real or are they just imaginary?

Early shoppers

Why, I wonder, is it the men who shop early?! No, I`m not talking about doing Christmas shopping long before Christmas, but looking at the people who shop in the town early in the mornings, I`ve discovered that the vast majority of them are men. Some I realise are on their way to work, but many of them are retired or don`t work, so it sets me wondering, why, when they`ve got all day ahead of them do they go into shops as soon as they open? Is it that they don`t like to be seen to be shopping by the ladies? Maybe it`s that they`re not as organised as ladies and have to come out to get something for their breakfast!

It reminds me of when the post-office used to be opposite to where I worked, and on pension days you would literally see the same nine or ten old men all jostling for position to be the first in the queue for when they opened the door – did they think the post office would run out of money if they weren`t first in?!

Christmas card verses

I don`t know why, but this year I seem to keep remembering things from Christmas`s past. Like for example, whilst writing my Christmas cards, I found two verses from cards kept coming back into my mind.

“From the four corners of the earth
the wise men came to pray,
and I too pray that love and joy
and peace may come your way”

“May the star that led the Eastern Kings,
to the humble manger bed
shine out for you and guide you too,
through all the years ahead”

The verses were from years and years ago, when I was maybe in my early teens. My parents and I would sit round the table, all the cards spread out in neat lines, and they would pick look at a name from the list then pick up various cards from the table, read aloud the verses until they were satisfied as to which one to send that person. And, so I suppose that was how from one year these couple of verses stuck in my mind. I`d not thought of them for ages, yet this year they came back to me. Odd isn`t it how the mind works. Does anyone else remember verses like that I wonder.

Differing Attitudes

I`ve attended two different Christmas style services today. They were both good and gave food for thought.
At the second one, children were participating in miming the story of Mary & Joseph, the Shepherds, Angels and Wise Men, to narration and with various songs. My attention was caught though by two of the men in the congregation, probably both were fathers or relatives of some of the children. One had a small boy in his arms and he stood throughout the whole of the time, showing the child what was going on and taking part in it. The other had a digital camera and was repeatedly taking photos of all that was going on seeming more interested in that, than what was actually being said or sung.
It made me wonder, which of the two men would actually remember most about the service afterwards? Would it be the one with the photos to show for it, or the father with the child. Or, maybe, even that child itself would remember what he`d seen from his dad`s arms.
(I found that seeing the father with the child and his caring attitude very touching)

Christmas character

I came across this on a blog I was reading, so thought I`d try it and see what Christmas character it made me

Ah, you are such a beautiful person! You are the
peaceful snow on a winter day. You would be
considered a calm person that does not let much
bother you. You find joy in tranquility and
beauty. You are probably one of those people
who take in deep breaths before anger hits you.
You have great traits about you, and you get
along with people well. Merry Christmas =)

A lot of it I would hesitate to say was `me`, but I do find joy in tranquillity and beauty of nature so at least a bit of it is true.
Still, I always find it`s fun to do some of these light-hearted quizzes.

Getting ahead of myself

Having woken up this morning with a splitting headache which lasted most of the morning, and not feeling too good, typical on a day off I thought. I didn`t think I was going to be able to get done all I`d hoped to do today. But in the end I actually got a lot of jobs done this afternoon, I`ve marzipaned and iced the cake, wrapped my presents, put cards on strings and hung them up, plus a few other tasks, and can actually say that I think I`m ready for Christmas and there`s still a week to go yet – what a change from previous years when I`ve still be icing the cake on Christmas Eve!

Now, all I need to do is get a few early nights sleep because maybe that`s what the headache was telling me this morning, that I need a bit more rest. Still, I have spent a nice quiet hour this evening sitting watching tv with just the lights of the Christmas tree twinkling away.

Tree Decorating

One of the things that really says to me that Christmas is coming is putting up and decorating the Tree. I`ve just spent a pleasant evening doing just that. Its a job that I enjoy doing every year, and its one of the seasonal jobs that`s never a chore to do.
Not for us a `designer` tree with everything in blue and silver, or red and gold, or any other stylish combination. There is, to me, a lot of memories in the decorations which go on the tree as our ornaments have come down through the years, with usually the addition of one new piece each year. The oldest, and my favourite has to be this one.



She`s only about 3 inches tall, and although now getting rather worse for wear, is very precious, because it was given to my Dad one Christmas by a family that he knew when he was in Belgium during the war. We even still have the original box in which it was given to him. I often wonder, as I handle it and hang it on the tree, if the family that gave it to him are still alive and if they think of that at Christmas too.

Have you got a license to do that??

I head a rather ridiculous item on last night`s television news.
Apparently it`s illegal to go carol singing in the streets, or at an old folks home or any venue at all unless you`ve bought a license to do so!
What is this country coming to, when the simple pleasure of a group of people carol singing could be breaking the law. Alright, I can understand if they say they`re collecting for charity, there should be some way to ensure that the money is for the charity, if that`s what behind this, but it didn`t sound as if that was the reason. Even if a group go to entertain at a hospital or similar place they (so the tv said) need a license to do it.
What happened to the Christmas spirit of good will? Why should people who are willing to give their time to give pleasure to others be expected to pay out for a license to do so. To me it seems ridiculous.
What ever next? Will we soon need a license to walk along the sea front, or even down our own streets?

Christmas Lights (2)

Everywhere one goes at this time of year after the sun goes down, lights shine out – from windows, on walls, on roofs. Not just in towns but even out in the countryside one will suddenly come across a blaze of colourful lights. Every year there seem to be more and more people decorating the outsides of their homes with Christmas lights, there`s Santa`s and sleighs, snowmen and trees, reindeer and bells, holly and stars. It struck me, how generous all those people are – not just in the fact that they have to pay for all the electricity they use!, but because all of it is not for their own benefit because sitting inside their homes they cannot see the outside, so they must be doing it for the enjoyment of all who pass by.
It seems to me, that they are, in their way bringing light into darkness. They may not see it in the same way we think about the Light coming into the darkness but they are giving joy to those who pass by. It`s given me the reminder of a line of either a rhyme or a song that I`ve heard at sometime, but I can`t remember where I first heard it, but it seems quite appropriate. “Now light one thousand Christmas lights in this dark world tonight….” But I can`t remember or find the rest of it.

Christmas Lights (1)

Here`s some Christmas lights I saw recently. Will write more about that tomorrow.