To keep or to discard

Why, oh why, do we hoard so much? Or, is it only me?!

Despite setting out with good intentions to get rid of a lot of items, when it comes to it, can I really bear to part with it?... but, then again, realistically if it`s sat in a cupboard for fifteen years or more and I`ve not needed it, will I really need it in the future?

Decisions, decisions.

Room to Room

Some might wonder why I was writing about moving house yesterday. Well I`m sitting here looking around me, at all the clutter – useful clutter, I hasten to add!, which I will soon need to move.

No, I`m not moving house, but I`m moving rooms. My bedroom is soon to become my office/workroom/retreat room, and my office/workroom/retreat room my bedroom. And then my bedroom, being bigger will have room for the luxury of a nice double bed, instead of my single one, and should be able to be more of a comfy retreat room than my office/workroom/retreat room. I`ve ordered the bed (good price in a special half price sale yesterday), so now just have to find two or three people to help move the furniture. But, before they can do that I need to clear away the clutter. And, I feel at the same time, like having a spring-clean of some of my hoarded bits and pieces to make a fresh start.

So… that`s all for today…. off to the cupboards and drawers…!

Moving house

I`ve never moved house. I live in the same house that I was brought into as a tiny baby. I wonder how many other people could say that. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to move house, to start afresh in new surroundings, maybe in the same town, or maybe somewhere completely different. To have the chance to start a life of my own.

Flower Festival time

Well, the season for Flower Festivals seems to have started again. Looking at the listings of events for today in our local paper there were many to choose from, but I hadn`t time to see them all, so I went to see one at a village church this afternoon a few miles from where I live. It was depicting different countries and was quite colourful. This is one of the arrangements from it that I particularly liked.

A hungry car

What does your car like eating?

Mine eats CD`s!

It had merrily played a couple to me on my way home from my holiday, when I put the third one in – nothing – just a message saying CD error. Ok, I thought, press eject and try again. Pressed eject – what happened – absolutely nothing, can`t have pressed it firm enough I thought, try again - result still nothing. Whatever I pressed, or did, nothing got it to give me back my CD and nor to play it.

Even the men at the garage today couldn`t persuade it to give up my disc. So now it means it will have to go to the garage to be taken apart to try and get it out.

Is it the right decision?

I don`t know what`s the matter with me at the moment, (nothing healthwise I hasten to add [as far as I know anyway]), but I just don`t seem to have any interest in doing the things that I used to do, and even some of the things I`m doing I`m doing out of habit rather than with any real enthusiasm. So, I decided to give up doing a voluntary job that I`ve done for many, many years, I`m not being forced to give it up, its been my decision to do so.

Yet now that it`s actually come almost to the time to hand everything over, I`m having second thoughts – am I doing right; am I letting people down; is it just that I`m severing something that was a lifeline to me at one time that`s giving me these doubts, fears; am I doing the right thing?

I guess I`ve just got to chance it, and hope my instinct is right.

Gardens

Having just been watching the Chelsea Flower Show on televison. I enjoy seeing all the different gardens, but then I look out of the window at my back garden, and oh dear, what a difference. My lawn, if you can call it a lawn, isn`t just smooth green grass, its full of daisies, buttercups, wild violets, dandelions and weeds!, and no matter what I do, they keep on coming back again and again. My borders haven`t neat tidy edges, they`ve adjusted to the shapes of the shrubs growing in them. There`s a good crop of weeds that keep recurring however many times I pull them out, especially the bind weed which is such a nightmare that I always end up giving up on it. Oh, well, I suppose I can dream of having a garden like those one of these days, but I don`t know when!

It`s better with a man!

What a difference a man makes.

I may be old fashioned, and am definitely not a women`s libber. I suppose that yes, in some ways and things I want equality for women, like respect and equal pay etc., but in the majority of instances I feel that there are some things that men are better at, and others that women are better at.

What am I waffling on about you`re probably wondering by now…. Well, I`ll get to the point. For over thirty years of my working life I`ve had a man as the boss, and that has seemed right and proper. Then things changed and a young lady became the boss, straight away the whole atmosphere in the workplace changed, in with her came her mood swings, favouritism, and a high-handed attitude. To try and be fair to her, maybe she had taken on more than she could cope with, but she wasn`t going to admit it, and that may have been why she acted as she did, but, it wasn`t a happy atmosphere.

Now, the male presence is restored and what a difference in has made in just a short time. It is now again a pleasure to go to work (well, as pleasurable as work can be!)

Lone Tower

I came across this whilst on holiday recently. A short tower, in the middle of nowhere, not particularly tall as towers go. There were no other buildings near, its not part of a castle. From a plaque on its wall I could just make out that it was called Jubilee Tower. It made me wonder, who built it? Why put it there? What was the purpose of it?

What do my photos say about me?

Being one who likes taking photos, I couldn`t resist trying out this test to see what it said about me! Here`s the result. Like most of these things, some of it is surprisingly accurate, but some just `isn`t me`. I`ll leave readers to work out what bit isn`t me.

You're camera shy but canny!

Say cheese! Oh go on! We can tell that you're the sort of person who tends to be happier behind the camera than in the picture itself. You may envy those photogenic people who always seem to look radiant in photos regardless of the situation, but the truth is that you've got one up on them.
We can tell that you're one of life's observers who pick up on interesting information and gossip just by looking and listening instead of planting yourself in the middle of the action. We also know that you're not shy all the time. In fact we bet that you can party with the best of them when you're in the mood to let your hair down. You just don't see the need to over-expose yourself!

More thoughts

My parent is back, and my quiet peaceful week of existance is shattered. I know that I should be grateful that I still have a parent, but to be perfectly honest, it`s not the parent that I was closest to, I "lost" (yes, I know, I`m using that expression which I`ve said before that I detest, but today it`s how it feels), the one that meant the most to me. I suppose you could say I was a proper `Daddy`s girl`. I just shared so much more with him, we had so many more interests in common, did more together. I always imagined it would be him and me, not her and me left. Now, as it is, I`d rather be on my own, but that`s not possible.

I`ll just have to do, as the words of a hymn we had this morning said: (Strange we should have it this morning really - it meant a lot to me when my Dad was ill and at many times since, so its become a favourite of mine)

Father, I place into your hands
The things that I can`t do.
Father, I place into your hands
The times that I`ve been through
Father, I place into your hands
The way that I should go,
For I know I always can trust you.

Thoughts

When I started this Blog, I thought of it as somewhere I could write the things that really mattered to me, that affected me, things I probably couldn`t share in any other way, my personal thoughts, and that`s what I need to do today.

I`ve got something that I want to share, that I want to talk about, yet because of what it is; how I feel; I can`t really tell anyone. Why not?, I guess because I know it`s wrong, that I shouldn`t be like this about it. And others would be shocked to know it.

So, I`m going to write it down here, maybe that will help.

I`ve just had a weeks holiday to myself followed by having the house at home to myself for almost a week because my parent was away. And, I`ve so enjoyed the freedom that it has given, the lack of tension, the ability to come and go as I like, do as I want, to live my own life. My problem is that my feelings are now that I don`t want my parent to come back. I`ve got no “feelings” for my parent, just a sense of duty. What awful things to say,aren`t they? But it`s the truth of how I feel.

And I don`t know what to do about it.

Happiness is.....

Happiness is…..

…. having the house to myself

….. time to relax

….. a leisurely walk by the sea

….. being free to do as I want to do, without any ties

….. a holiday with friends

….. cooking just for me

Wonder what others would put on a list of what makes them happy?

Bluebells

I came across this wood full of bluebells whilst out in the Norfolk Countryside at the weekend. What a carpet of colour all the hundreds of flowers made. Even to look at a single flower there is so much beauty in it. It is so easy to not notice a single one when out walking but to get them together, what a sight they make.
Maybe there`s a lesson for us in that too.


Just look at the different shades of coulour on some of these individual bluebells - aren`t they lovely. At a first look I just assumed each flowerlet was a single colour until I took this photo and saw the subtle shades that made up each one. Wonderful, beautiful.

Trust

What trust.
This mother duck was sitting on the edge of the lake with her two baby ducklings beside her, just a foot away from were we were walking, so I couldn`t resist taking this photo of them.

Travelling about last week, I saw so many beautiful aspects of this wonderful place that we live in, England. So here are a few of the photo`s I took. There were fields upon fields of sheep with new born lambs, cow with calves, winding streams, wide stretches of moorland quiet and still without a person or traffic in sight, woods full of bluebells,and of course the coastline with mile upon mile of golden smooth sand and the sea out in the far distance, at other times the tide up and lapping against the shoreline.
Walking around a large lake, wild flowers abounded in the grassy banks, and ducks with their ducklings slept right alongside where we walked. The sun shone, it was really hot some days. It really makes me wonder why people need to go abroad, when there is so much to see in this country.

Time to be "me".

Where has the last week gone to, it doesn`t seem seven days since I set out in the morning for a weeks holiday, but what a really lovely holiday I`ve had with my friends. As soon as I walked through their door, I forgot all about my parent, home, work and everything and really relaxed for the whole week.

It was a very undemanding week, just taking things easy - getting up late, well, later than I normally do, a leisurely breakfast then time to sit and read or even just sit and do nothing!
One morning having a long walk around a lake with C; on another morning, a wander along to the nearby row of shops with her. It was so good to have someone to walk with, and to walk at my speed! Then after lunch we`d have a ride out to somewhere. On other days going out about mid-morning with them, having a picnic lunch in the car, visiting some interesting places, villages etc., then back for tea and an evening just sitting watching tv, or reading - all just quiet and peaceful. Just what I`d needed. A time of not doing anything really out of the `ordinary` yet just “being”, not having any responsibilities, being accepted for the quiet person that I am.
I feel so much better for it.
It really was time to just be “me”.

Views of springtime

A pile of my photos all taken recently in spring- time. Look out for more photos after my holiday!

More preparations

Holidays really seem such hard work. As I wrote yesterday there are so many jobs to be done before one goes, and then when one comes back there`s another lot that have piled up in one`s absence. I ask myself - is it really worthwhile?

I think at least that I`ve got all sorted out for my parent to be looked after in my absence, meals are going to be delivered, someone`s coming in in the morning to see she`s up and dressed ok, an aunt has offered to sleep here if required, another person will be most of her for all of each day, friends have promised to collect her to take her to church and a concert. It makes me really appreciate the good neighbours and friends we have around us. And, if you were to start counting them what a lot there would be on the list.

So, now all I`ve got to do is - the packing, checking my map route, washing my hair, charging up my mobile phone, sorting out my parents dinner for the day I go, ..... and many other little odd jobs..... I suppose it will all get done in time.

Holiday jobs

Today, I`ve collected plants that someone was going to give me; tidied and filed all the papers from all my worktops here; written some letters; defragmented my computer files; and done lots of jobs that have been sitting about waiting to be done. Why have I done all this today – because I`m shortly going on holiday.

It seems to me that holidays are good for making one get organised and do all those jobs that keep getting put off – or so I find. I`m not meaning that I do the jobs when I`m on holiday, what I find is, that when I`ve got a holiday booked to go away, in the week or so before it, I suddenly find myself thinking, I really must do this job, and that job, and the other jobs, all before I go. They may have been sitting there for a few weeks and wouldn`t hurt to sit there until I came back. So why is it, that I feel I must get all done and leave everything clear before I go off? Is it just me, or do others find the same? Odd isn`t it – it happens every time.

Do we do it, incase we don`t come back, so that it doesn`t look a muddle to others? Is it so that it gives a nice feeling of a new start after a holiday? Or why is it??

Or is it just me?!

Cloud

Thought I`d share my word cloud with you today, so here it is.

Nursery Rhymes

Having written about May Day customs yesterday, whilst trying to find the background to what I`d written about, but without success, I came across this nursery rhymes quiz. Now, you might think, oh nursery rhymes that`s for children, maybe it is – but having tried the quiz and not been able to complete the course of questions yet, despite 3 or 4 attempts, I though others might like to have a go at this. Hope you know your nursery rhymes better than me! I wonder too, if different parts of the country are more familiar with different nursery rhymes to others?

May Days

Has anyone jammed (stamped) on your foot today?

If so there`s probably a good reason for it …. its because it’s the first of May !

I wonder how many remember this from school days:

First of May – Jam Toe Day,
Second of May – Petticoat Day

Or was it the other way round?, and I`m fairly sure there was something for the third of May too, was it pinch-punch day? I can`t remember for sure.

If you don`t know what Petticoat Day is– well on that day you lifted the hem of girls and ladies skirts to see if they were wearing a petticoat! (That, of course, was in the days when females wore skirts rather than trousers).

I wonder if these were just Norfolk children`s games or do others know of them?